My Testimony By: Bro. Ruben D. Brazzile

 From Tragedy to Triumph

At an early age I had heard about God but I did not know him for my self.

My older brother sexually molested me beginning at age 9 or 10.  I had only recent to that time came to live with my real Mom.  I guess the story actually starts from birth.  I never new my real mother. I was in a foster home in Cleveland, Ohio and was physically beaten. The environment was rodent infested with many large rats and mice that I thought were pets because they had become so accustomed to the home they never ran away.  My dog even played with them.  On any given day I could go to the silver ware drawer to get a spoon for my cereal and there would be small pink baby mice just born.  I played with them.  One day Child Services came by and secretly removed me from the home because of the infestation of rodents and I was taken to Metzenbaum Children’s Center in Cleveland, Ohio which was a children’s orphanage. Where I stayed until around 8 1/2 years old when a lady showed up and said she was my real mother and two weeks later she took me home.  I guess I had been there for about a week when she introduced me to the extension cord and I was beaten regularly, and when they found out that my nose bled a lot she made certain to hit me in the nose on a regular basis.  When I tried to run out the door she blocked my way until I would stop crying where she then would make me remove the bloody shirt. I gained a lot of weight and she called me fat, or say things like ' you are bigger than a house'. I was around 9 then and it was around this time that my brother started messing with me.  I could not see how I could tell Mom. Wow, I guess I have written some of my personal life maybe too much. I do not know.  Anyway, I left Ohio when I could and moved as far west as I could go. I left Cincinnati, Ohio and came to Tacoma, Washington.  

 I grew up in hard and violent circumstances and survived horrendous foster care, and later an orphanage then physical abuse and sexual abuse at age 9 by an older brother. When I first prayed the prayer of salvation at age 13 I felt the call of the lord on my life to preach, and with excitement I told my mother. She pointedly told me that “God, ain’t called you to do nothing”.  I immediately felt disappointed and became angry, and let that anger grow but hidden. More physical and verbal abuse continued. There was no Father in the home. I never revealed what I was going through and as a result I became a misguided angry young man. I took my bible and went downtown to the main bus stop with large groups of people would gather and I begin speaking the word of God from the Bible and urged the people to get saved. This went on for a few months.  I kept feeling that maybe my Mom was right that God had not called me at all, and that I was a child of the devil as she once told me. I went to the church and asked the church to pray but I did not tell them what for, and some white guy sitting in the back jumped up and shouted that God has called you to preach and you have been told that it is not so, but this is the confirmation, and then he sat down. I continued to have poor relations with family and went into a depression and allowed myself to just stop doing everything, I began just receded into myself. The neighborhood drug dealer came buy and offered me some marijuana and I did take. A big mistake. It led me on a downward spiral. Later at age 20 I committed a burglary, and while pending my hearing on that I listened to false information and attempted to leave and go to Miami and to get funds to do this I agreed to help rob a taxi driver, and ended up caught for that as well. I was sentenced to ten years in prison. I served all 10.  I was released in 1997 and have not had any more negative interaction with the law. But while there, several major life experiences occurred including a 11 day riot occurred,  where 450 inmates took over the prison for 11days and subjected many of us to what can only be described as horrendous torture. Many of us were eventually released from prison and unleashed on society, with no counseling . When  I went in, I did begin developing my knowledge of the Bible and joined a beginners bible study course, and took more advanced level study courses. I began to pray to receive my own testimony.  Even though I went through a lot of bad stuff, and even though during some points of my life I was not living for God and as a result found my self in bad places, the lord still did not give up on me even when I did give up on myself. When I got out I had a personal vision to just succeed.  I was blessed to get a job at the phone company as a temporary employee.  I worked hard, and built trust and learned all three departments from microfiche processing using computerized laser printing and copying machines, to printing checks, and confidential reports, to managing several computer consoles that ran the tape library, with ten robots consisting of several hundred thousand tapes. I was not going to church, but kept my faith. I eventually began working two jobs one with Convergys Information Management Group and the other as a receptionist with H & R Block.  Two years I found my self as Office Manager, later I bought a house, new car, and furniture.

Still not consistently going to church, and still retaining flash backs and nightmares. I quit one job and stayed Office Manager for three years for H & R Block, later promoted to the

 Assistant District Manager and then District Manager and was assigned to Tacoma, WA as my district that had 300 employees, 8 branch offices and a budget exceeding a million dollars.  I was on cloud 9 or so I thought.  By this time my spiritual life was non existent

I was making a big salary, going on trips flying across various States, thinking that I’ve made it.  During this time I was achieving various earned and honorary titles. Bishop, Pastor, Reverend. I was actually ordained based on several certificates that I earned on Biblical Studies.   But I was not being obedient, I was living the life that I chose, and not the one that God chose, and I later found my self knocked down.  No job, no house, no car,

Money all gone, flat broke went into depression and stayed there for more than a year and one day, I had the spiritual urge to cry out to god with all that I knew how, and I found a church and ran to the alter.  A month later I was invited to New Testament Christian Church and received the Holy Ghost.

I later faced another challenge when it was revealed that I had a brain tumor.

Should I subject myself to a brain surgery? Should I Have faith and really believe God for my Healing? Should I even tell anybody?   Is it my time?  All of these thoughts came over me.   I needed medication that I could not pay for each week, I needed food and I was in too much pain at different times where I could not do for myself.  Two brothers detected there was a problem and confronted me, and I revealed it.

Another brother chided me about not taking it to the pastor first.  I then did call Pastor Kekel and revealed all.  By this time the doctors pointedly told me that if I do not get the surgery I would be dead in no more than six months. They were 90% certain.  I told them I was believing God for my healing, one doctor said that I was being irrational and referred me for a psych consult to determine if I was mental able to make decisions for myself. I passed.   Pastor told me that the church could pray for me and believe God that when I go back then they would find anything.  I continued to have physical symptoms and was scheduled for another follow up.  I went in and they performed a test, then they repeated it because they said the first test didn’t come out right, then the second test they said the machine was broken, and on the third test they transferred me to another hospital that had the same machine and tested me again, and this time they said that they are not able to detect the tumor in my brain! They said there is no sign that it even existed. I yelled ‘Thank you Jesus” right in the room, and the doctor who initially said that I was being irrational abruptly left the room.   Today I stand healed, delivered, set free and filled with the holy ghost. During that time I met several young people, several adults and families with a child, youth or family member is affected with a emotional or mental illness where I have been working with them, and have been receiving advanced training for people with Mental Health or other Substance Abuse disorders.

 I never thought I would work with a special needs population but I keep being in places where this population needs to hear about the saving and healing works of God as well as about Managing their symptoms and Recovery.  I am still unemployed but when I finish some more training I have already been I have a job waiting for me the first of the year.

 I now volunteer as a Chaplain for the United States Corps of Chaplains. A Christian ministerial organization that works in the community but caters to active duty and retired military officers.

 Ruben D. Brazzile